


Worth

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-06 22:50:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1875435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is confused when Blaine refuses to get physical with him at all after they get together but he wasn’t prepared at all for the reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by incendiaglacies: So basically when Blaine and Kurt get back together Blaine refuses to have sex with Kurt because he’s afraid that Kurt will just use him for ‘fun’ like he did at the wedding, adding that on to comments like ‘not for sale’ how sebastian treated him and cheating with eli, Blaine thinks if he has sex with kurt again and it means nothing it will make him a whore.

Kurt hovered over the bed, trying to decide how best to have this set up.

 

After months, months, of talking he and Blaine had come to an understanding. They agreed that they were far more miserable apart and that a second chance was what was right.

 

Kurt had told himself that it was very mature that they were working through this. He and Blaine had a love that was once in a lifetime and there would always be obstacles but they would overcome them together.

 

Their relationship was slow and nice, phone calls and skype dates. Two months after they got back together Blaine was touring colleges in New York and was staying at Kurt’s apartment.

 

So…what do they do?

 

Blaine used to take any chance he could to have sex. They were two teenaged boys madly in love. They would have phone sex or skype sex when they weren’t able to be together and were having a healthy, active sex life.

 

It had been a while but they were sharing a bed tonight…which was hinting that something would follow but they had not gone farther than kissing.

 

Should he be sitting on the bed?

 

Should he be naked?

 

Just in boxers?

 

The bathroom door opened and Kurt jumped, quickly yanking down his sweatpants so he could just be in his boxers. He could hear feet padding into the partition leading to his bed and his heart pounded, just imagining what was going to happen.

 

Blaine, sweet sexy Blaine who was so confident in himself, was going to step through naked. His olive skin was going to glow in the soft lights and he was going to give Kurt that gentle, bashful smile. They were going to fall into bed together and make love all night long.

 

He quickly sat down on the bed as Blaine pushed back the curtains and smiled goofily at his boyfriend. For a moment, Kurt was confused. Blaine was wearing a long sleeved shirt and pajama pants that were far too long for him.

 

“Ready to go to bed?” He asked, looking a little shy and Kurt nodded dumbly.

 

They both slid under the sheets and with a small smile, Blaine turned onto his side and turned off the light.

 

Kurt lay on his back, not sure what to do. This could be a signal right now from Blaine that he wanted him to set the pace of their physical relationship and right now laying next to his incredibly sexy boyfriend he wanted it to move pretty fast.

 

He gently lay a hand on Blaine’s hip and felt how his boyfriend tensed slightly. After another beat he leaned forward to kiss the back of Blaine’s neck, pressing closer behind him.

 

“Kurt,” Blaine sighed and Kurt continued to mouth at his neck.

 

“Mmhmm?”

 

“Come on,” He shook his shoulder a little. “I’m tired.”

 

Kurt froze, lips still pressed against Blaine’s neck. “What?”

 

“I’m not really in the mood,” He noticed Blaine’s slight grimace as he squirmed further away and Kurt quickly moved back.

 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered. “I just thought…we hadn’t seen each other in a while.”

 

“Doesn’t mean I automatically want to have sex,” Blaine mumbled, curling up a little.

 

“I’m sorry,” Kurt frowned. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“Are we okay?” His heart sped up for every second Blaine hesitated.

 

“Of course. I am just really tired,” Blaine turned to give him a small smile. “We’re okay. We’ll hang out tomorrow, okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Kurt nodded quickly and smiled when Blaine leaned forward to peck him on the lips.

 

“I don’t want to move too fast.”

 

A month and a half after that they were still moving as incredibly slow as before. Every time Kurt tried to start something on the phone or on skype Blaine would turn him down, shaking his head quickly.

 

It was miserable.

 

Kurt thought maybe Blaine just wanted their first time as a couple again to be more personal so he was thrilled when he was able to spend three weeks at home. Just like before, they spent as much time as possible together, curled up watching movies or slowly kissing.

 

But it had taken forever for them to get from kissing to making out.

 

One night, while they were lying in Blaine’s bed kissing deeply, Kurt started to unbutton his boyfriend’s shirt. Blaine squirmed a little, taking Kurt’s hands and moving them down. Thrilled at the change in plans Kurt attacked his zipper.

 

“Stop!” Blaine all but jumped back, scaring Kurt half to death.

 

“What?!”

 

“What are you doing?” Blaine panted.

 

“Trying to take your clothes off…” Kurt sat up.

 

“I never said I wanted that. I never said I was comfortable with that,” The anger in Blaine’s eyes made Kurt slink down a little.

 

“I just assumed…”

 

“Don’t,” Blaine stood up and Kurt’s heart sank when he realized that Blaine was moving away from him.

 

“Why not? You were never bashful about sex before,” It looked like Blaine all but shattered, his shoulders slumped and his eyes filled with tears. “Blaine?”

 

“I think you should leave.”

 

“What? No!” Kurt sat up straighter. “You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

 

“I’m not just here for you to have sex with Kurt,” Blaine spat, glaring at his feet. “I’m not your whore.”

 

“I never thought…said…I don’t understand!” Kurt gaped at him.

 

Blaine wrapped his arms tightly around his stomach, something that Kurt recognized as a way for Blaine to hide himself.

 

“Blaine?” Kurt stood and froze when Blaine took another step back. “I don’t know where this is coming from.”

 

“I don’t want to have sex.”

 

“Okay,” Kurt nodded. “That’s okay. You could have just said that.”

 

“I did,” Blaine still refused to look up. “Many times but every time I see you it is all you want to do. As soon as we’re laying down you’re…touching me…or talking about that kind of stuff when we’re skyping or talking on the phone.”

 

“We used to do that stuff all the time.”

 

“Why?” Blaine suddenly looked up at him and Kurt was breathless from the absolute anguish in his eyes. “Why do you want to do it so fast?”

 

“Because I love you.”

 

“You want to have sex with me,” Blaine took another step back. “We’ve seen each other in person just a handful of times and it’s all you want to do.”

 

“Because I love you. Because I want to show you how amazing and sexy you are,” Kurt took another step forward and Blaine looked like he was going to throw up.

 

“You need to go.”

 

“I’m not leaving,” Kurt shook his head. “You’re upset and I’m not going to leave you alone.”

 

“I don’t feel comfortable with you here!” Blaine held his hands up. “I’m not going to let you fuck me so there isn’t any other reason for you to be here.”

 

“You’re scaring me,” Kurt whispered. “Please tell me what is going on.”

 

“I love you,” Blaine voice cracked and he curled in further on himself. “I love you and if you just leave me after it will kill me.”

 

“I’m not going to leave you!”

 

“You’ve said that before,” Blaine spat. “Then you fucked me at that wedding and left. You did everything but leave money on the dresser.”

 

“I…”

 

“And as soon as we get back together you keep pressuring me for sex,” Tears spilled over his cheeks and Blaine reached up to brush them off.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Kurt blinked back tears himself. “Honestly, I think I just wanted things to go back to how they were.”

 

“I don’t think I can do that. Not anymore.”

 

“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice hitched.

 

“I’m not going to have sex with you only for you to leave again. I’m not here for you or anyone else to use and I am tired of it! I’ve been thrown aside and hurt too many times,” Blaine shook his head furiously, tears falling.

 

“You’re scaring me,” Kurt repeated, heart pounding. “Blaine please, I don’t understand.”

 

“You think I don’t see how people view me?” Blaine stepped back again, squeezing his stomach. “Everyone thinks I’m a whore and slut. I thought you were different.”

 

“Blaine that is absolutely not true.”

 

“It is,” Blaine nodded, lip quivering. “Did you know Sebastian offered me five hundred dollars if I slept with him? He asked when I could fit him in my schedule like I had an appointment book for that kind of thing.”

 

“What?” Kurt felt rage flood through him like fire. “He did what?”

 

“Eli said the same thing pretty much,” Blaine said slowly, staring at his feet again. “He said he would pay anything for one night like me. Guess I was doing some kind of first time freebie special that night.”

 

“Blaine…” Kurt suddenly realized what was going through Blaine’s head.

 

“Remember how I got upset at Sam that one time? I told him I wasn’t for sale?” He let out a high pitched laugh. “Guess I was a little premature for that one.”

 

“Oh no,” Kurt shook his head, tears blurring his vision as well. “Blaine no. Blaine, please. You’re not a whore.”

 

“I am,” He gave Kurt a humorless smile. “But if you really want that we can work something out. I just…I can’t have you leave again. It will kill me.”

 

Blaine looked so desperate that Kurt felt sick to his stomach. He hurried forward and pulled Blaine into his arms, holding tightly onto his boyfriend who dissolved into sobs.

 

“I love you,” Kurt whispered. “I was thinking about myself and not about what you were going through.”

 

“It’s not important,” Blaine sniffed.

 

“You are important,” Kurt pushed him back a little and turned his face towards him, holding his chin firmly. “A price could never, ever be put on you. You are more important to me than anything and you are worth more than anything.”

 

Doubt clouded Blaine’s eyes for a long moment.

 

“I love you. I fell in love with your charming, sweet, caring, beautiful soul,” Kurt gently wiped tears away from his boyfriend’s cheeks. “I’m not saying you aren’t attractive because you are but your beauty goes beyond the physical. Those…other guys didn’t see it. They weren’t lucky enough to see it.”

 

He leaned forward to gently kiss Blaine’s cheek bones, tasting the salt from his tears.

 

“Kurt…”

 

“Everyday I realized how blessed I am that you chose me,” Kurt smiled, brushing back his curls. “How lucky I am that my boyfriend is kind and gentle and caring.”

 

Blaine’s smile was quick and fleeting.

 

“I’ll wait for you,” He whispered. “For however long you want. I need you to tell me when you think these thoughts. I would do anything to show you how special you are.”

 

“I’m not,” Blaine shook his head.

 

“You are,” Kurt looped his arms loosely around Blaine’s neck. “And I want to spend every minute of my life proving it to you.”

 

Blaine ducked his head, more tears in his eyes and smiled shyly.

 

“When we have sex I am not just using you,” Kurt whispered. “I am not just sleeping with you because you are beautiful. I am making love to you to show you how much I really care about you. I love you so much that I want to be as close to you as I can be. I want to make you feel good.”

 

“Kurt,” Blaine whispered.

 

“I. Love. You,” Kurt said firmly. “I am not going to sleep with you and leave you. You mean far too much to me. Do you understand?”

 

“I do,” He breathed.

 

“And if anyone makes you feel that way you tell me,” He kissed his forehead. “I will destroy them. I’ve watched all those action movies with Finn, I know many ways.”

 

Blaine grinned and dropped his head forward.

 

“You are worth more than anything anyone could pay, worth more than all the money or goods in this world or anywhere else,” Kurt squeezed him a little. “I’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”

 

“Thank you,” Blaine whispered.

 

“You don’t have to thank me for making sure you’re comfortable,” Kurt pressed their foreheads together. “Just…tell me when you have these thoughts. I don’t want you bottling them up.”

 

“Okay,” Blaine nodded.

 

“Do you want to go back to your bed and watch movies? Fully clothed,” Blaine let out a small laugh.

 

“That sounds amazing.”

 

And that night, when Kurt was pressed up against his sleeping boyfriend’s back holding him tight, he tried to think of all the ways to make him know how loved he really was


End file.
